To Those Questioning Judgements

The questions that face me as a blogger are not technical, spiritual, tactical, financial, legal or ephemeral. I have faced these questions all my life in various apparitions. In my view the question is really philosophical, or more precisely - ethical. What is my world-view, and hence, if the world is simply a reflection matrix, what the hell is my identity?

I am not independent. I am at the mercy of editors who want to judge whether my writing is worth a few thousand rupees. I am at the mercy of natural forces.

I am not an individual, since I'm inexorably dependent on the presence of other human beings. I'm dependent on tactile love, not perceived love. I'm somehow connected to the world wide web as if it were a umbilical tube.

And I am not Indian. Even though I have never traveled abroad to see the world in it's diversity, even though I have always remained within the cartographic confines of the nation-state, I have never been able to understand India. My birthplace remains a hospital bed in some Jaipur clinic, the stargate womb of my mother, not India.

But I'm willing to listen to all you wise folks and learn. I would like to learn only one thing about whatever the final truth it is I'm searching for - what does your silence mean to me?
Hey Fadereu, you always manage to get me thinking. What is my identity, indeed? I hope you never become Indian, because why have that cage at all? May you, and all of us, never come to understand India. Because if you do, you might stop questioning and then who would make us think?
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